Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Its all about me!

I decided seeing that tomorrow is a holiday and all that I am gonna do just a nice get to know me more post for today. Thanks to my brainy old science partners facebook for the idea.

Last beverage→ Coffee
Last phone call→ The don
Last text message→ The bf
Last song you listened to→ Some song on Guitar hero called I hate myself for loving you
Last time you cried→ About a week ago my lover with the red Ferrari came to visit so I was crying about everything

Dated someone twice→ yes
Been cheated on?→ Yes, I actually walked in on it once it was real great. One of those Italian stallions u know the kind that thinks its okay to slap a girl and cheat on her in one night. I think if I wasn’t so innocent back then I might have taken some advise from what happens in Vegas and smack him in the balls while he wasn’t expecting it.
Kissed someone & regretted it?-> Yeah but at least I’ve never woken up and wanted to chew my arm off…. Oh wait… Next question please.
Lost someone special?→ Yeah… unfortunately but you can’t make anyone stick around their part in the story is just over now and it means that there is room for more special people.
Been depressed?→ Yeah got the scars to prove it unfortunately but looking back that was just a speed bump on the road.
Been drunk and threw up?→ Yup, thanks Dad! Well atleast he didn’t make me clean the car the next day.


Made new friends→ You always pick up new friends along the journey, however this year has brought many, many wonderful new friends and really put the old ones to the test.
Fallen out of love→ Yeah, he smacked me so it kinda happened in like a split second. I still hung around for a year afterwards though, which made walking out harder but I did it with nothing more than my cothes. But I maintain you gotta pay to get rid of some people.
Laughed until you cried→ Yes, I have the actress to thank for that, which just makes me miss her more because she is in Holland till the end of the year and that just sucks.
Met someone who changed you→ Unfortunately.
Found out who your true friends were→ Yeah after breaking up with someone you’ve been with for 3 years friends true colours tnd to come out.
Found out someone was talking about you → Yeah but hey I’d rather be talked about than not be talked about so whatever.
Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Yeah, but its not like you think.

How many people on your friends list do you know in real life→ Almost all of them there are like 5 that I don’t.
How many kids do you want to have→ none
Do you have any pets→ Yes I have a Chinese Crested Hairless called Ozzy after Ozzy Osbourn [he looked like a rocker when he was little] He is really funny and is the jealous type but that’s for another post.
Do you want to change your name→ Nope its kinda grown on me, like a fungi
What did you do for your last birthday→ :-? Drove around for like half an hour because my blonde friend organized me a surprise party at a club that burnt down. Then we ended up at Tokyo Sky.
What time did you wake up today→ 6:30
What were you doing at midnight last night→ Wouldn’t you like to know 
Name something you CANNOT wait for→ The day that I finally get my OWN [in my name] car.
What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ The house I am staying in right now its like coming home to a deathtrap waiting to happen
What are you listening to right now→ People talking
What's getting on your nerves right now?→ The fact that people always think I want to hear about their problems I don’t mind if they are real problems but if you cheat on your husband and shit like that I seriously don’t want to know! Oh and if your sister who I don’t know is going through a tough divorce coupled with anorexia, I don’t wanna know. Nor do I wanna know about your menstral cycle! Do you hear me freaky secretary lady!
Nicknames→ Mags, Rims, Puglet.
Relationship Status→ In a relationship, with the sexiest man ever, I know people just like say that but he really is hot, cross pretty boy Chad Michael Murry with a roughed Kid rock and you’d be getting close.
Zodiac sign→ Taurus baby! We just rock!
Male or female→ Female, can’t you tell.
Primary School→ Van Riebeeck Park Primary/ Amanzimtoti Primary
High school→ Windsor house Acdemy
Hair color→ Black
Long or short→ Long and I am never cutting it again.
Height→ 1.6m
Do you have a crush on someone?→ Not really.
What do you like about yourself (physically/personality)?→ My eyes and my tattoo’s
Piercings→ I have 5…
Tattoos→ 2…
Righty or lefty→ righty.

First surgery→ Appendix on Xmas eve when I was 11 or 12
First piercing→ my ears
First best friend(s)→ Patricia
First sport you joined→ Netball
First pet→ dog: Sandy
First vacation→ Margate… I think…
First concert→ The offspring!
First crush→ I have no idea one of my moms friends sons when I was like 5.

Eating→ Nothing I need to loose some extra weight.
Drinking→ Coffee
I'm about to→ Get my lazy ass back to work.
Listening to→ The accounts dept. laughing hysterically about something hopefully they are not pole dancing around the pot tree again. [It’s a pot plant/ tree]
Waiting to→ Go home so I can see my love

Want kids?→ I would never have believed I would ever say this but yes 2 atleast.
Want to get married?→ Yeah, I want to spend copious amounts of my dads money on one day and have people fussing around me.
Careers in mind?--> I really want to work for Microsoft one day.

Lips or eyes→ Eyes
Hugs or kisses→ Hugs
Shorter or taller→ Taller
Older or Younger→ Older hence the ex being like 13 years older than me but the bf is just the right gap of 5 years
Romantic or spontaneous→ Romantic
Nice stomach or nice arms→ Arms! I am so into arms its not even funny!
Sensitive or loud→ Loud… He needs to be able to compete with me, and I am damn loud!
Hook-up or relationship→ Relationships only… But no one would believe me if I told them
Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker…

Kissed a stranger→ Nope…
Drank hard liquor→ Ouch my head hurts already
Lost glasses/contacts→ Nope don’t wear them.
Broken someone's heart -> Yeah but I payed for it a zillion times over believe me!
Had your own heart broken→ yes :-(
Been arrested→ Almost, but no…
Turned someone down→ I’m a girl seriously turning people down is built into my DNA
Cried when someone died→ yes, buckets, even when people die on tv.

Yourself→ I do thanks to my boss!
Miracles→ Yes, to keep myself sane.
Love at first sight→ Yes, I fell in love with the bf when I saw him sitting 2 tables down at Stones but it wasn’t like LOVE.
Heaven→ Again yes to keep my sanity.
Santa Clause→ Nope but I got a very hot Santa e-mail last year and I wouldn’t mind him coming down my chimney to give me presents
Kiss on the first date?→ Nope…
Angels→ Undecided

Is there one person you want to be with right now?→ Yeah, my bf
Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time?→ Sort of but not exactly and not recently either.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Nerdy or Miss Priss??

I am at the moment balancing between wheather I think I am too prissy or too nerdy. I believe that a good combination is always good. I have come to this conclusion that I have more pink on my desk than any sane person should [Yes, I do already know that I am not exactly normal but still]. Hence the above.

But on the other hand I spent the whole of the weekend playing Xbox- Guitar hero and End War ( I just think its really cool coz it is voice prompted) and I actually know what Warhammer is.

And then I go back to the fact that I know that Gianni Versace was assassinated by Andrew Cunnan. And I also know that the founder of Addidas and the founder of Puma are brothers and arch enemies. And I also own a ridiculous amount of playboy merchandise. Again Prissy…
And then I need to consider that I also know that cat pee glows under a black UV light [Don't ask]. And I know exactly what people mean when they talk about mount doom or Mordor or any other fantasy place in any cult fantasy movie.

But now that I think about it perhaps it is neither that is overpowering. The root of the problem seems to come from my intrest in almost completely useless information. [I say almost because every now and again it comes in handy like on quiz night].

Argh, who cares its Monday!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The crystal ball

Well I havn’t been able to post for a while but everything has just been like a whirl wind this past week. Well the long weekend was okay it was nice to have such a long relaxing break. The bf had to work Friday and Monday which sucks. So I spent the weekend doing washing and cleaning the house. Yes, on my own even when he was there. Well I suppose that’s not exactly fair he did clean the bathroom and helped with the kitchen.

We finally have some clarity on the whole engagement thingy. We are but we are making it all official like at the end of the year. If our relationship survives all these late nights and whot not. He worked late again last night or should I say this morning. He ill be going home at 8 am and as you all can see I am already at work so I havn’t seen him. Personally I have a hard time believing that he worked from 7am yesterday to 8am today but I guess that’s just because I grew up with a professional liar for a step father so I don’t believe what anyone says, I always make up my own mind. That coupled with the fact that I am just too damn observant for my own good makes me a force to be reckoned with. For example the bf trying to convince me he hasn’t seen the scumbag of a best friend:
BF: I missed you babe I was here all alone.
Soitaire: Hey baby were you here alone last night? [stupid question I have already seen the once full bottle of vodka standing on the table with 2 glasses but knowing that it will be far moe entertaining to let this little skit play out]
BF: Yup
Solitaire: So you decided to drown your sorrows?
BF: No, why?
Solitaire: The bottle of vodka
BF: Oh that yeah
Solitaire: So your absolutely sure that you didn’t see the scumbag lastnight?
BF: No, I havn’t seen him in ages.
Solitaire: WOW! Babe you really have a strong stomach to manage to get an entire bottle of vodka down in 2 glasses. And you have no hang over. I am really impressed.
BF: Okay so maybe the scumbag came over and we had a few drinks.

Damn I am good aren’t I. So yeah he better not be trying to pull any stunts because he doesn’t pay enough attention to detail to fool me. I hope I don’t have to swallow my words in the near future but I am pretty confident. To be honest I don’t really buy any of this working for 24hrs bullshit that he is trying to sell me. But I guess that’s just my “insecurities” creeping up again. I told him this morning that I don’t believe him and his answer was do you want to speak to my boss, I said no. In retrospect I think I should have. I probably wouldn’t have anyway but I could have just said yes to see his reaction and by that I would have known.

But he has been acting strange lately but I have found no evidence of a phantom woman so perhaps its just something else. Sadly I love him and it makes sense because if I didn’t we wouldn’t still be together and I am starting to worry that I am starting to loose my touch being blinded by my feelings and all, and I certainly don’t want to end up in the same trap that my mother fell into; loving a man that will ultimately destroy me. But perhaps I am just far too paranoid for my own good.
Only time will tell.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The crystal ball

So this weekend was a really busy one which sucks! I can’t wait to be able to just laze around all weekend. But I should find time this weekend coming as it is 4 days long! Whoop, whoop!!

Friday: We went to play cricket as all of you know. It was the best game ever even though we lost by 2 runs, but considering we played against one of the umpires there the ref was obviously slightly biased. Especially when the umpire we were playing against almost killed me by smacking the ball at like a trillon miles per hour directly towards my face. Now the rules are that a man can’t bat directly towards a female. I tried to catch the ball and did just as well as it managed to split my wrist open. It should heave been -6 points but it was apparently below the knee I think the ref is trying to tell me something… Because clearly my face looks like my ass! And besides after my oscar winning performance where I dropped like a sack of potatoes and rolled around like an injured Man United player I deserved those 6 points, anyway…

Saturday: Spent my whole morning at the bank which was an entire waste of time! I don’t understand how you need to be in debt to get finance. I mean seriously and if no1 will give me credit how the hell am I ment to get myself into debt?? I had to fight just to open a new account! I mean seriously the banks don’t even want to take my money. Could have just been the stupid chick that tried to help me. She did alright further into a ditch. The manager did however manage to get it through her thick skull that a rental agreement does serve as proof of residence. I mean hello! After that catastrophe I decided I needed some much needed TLC so I sought it in Mother Russia and got myself a bottle of vodka. Then we went and played guitar hero at the bf’s brothers house.
Me and Dave also had a huge fight because I told the consultant she was incompetent perhaps I could have relaxed a little but once you have been there for 3 weeks in a row, which was just a great waste of time! I think anyone would need to blow off a little steam. Besides I am not sorry if she doesn’t deem a rental agreement as proof of residence then she is incompetent! We did sort it out though.

Sunday: I went to Goldreef City with the rest of the household while the bf went to play airsoft. It was rather fun and it was a good use of R120.

This morning: The bf’s sister is convinced that Dave took R100 out of her wallet. Which makes no sense what so ever because we were at Goldreef the whole of Sunday and Dave was at airsoft. Not to mention we both still have money left. So she is screaming at Dave and asking who would have taken it then? I mean seriously she probably spent it herself and doesn’t remember. I mean she is mentally ill and all… No fucken kidding she really is. She has like 20 tablets she has to take to stop her from going going psyco and killing everyone in the house. As to answer the “who took it?” question: Well now this is a tough one but my sleuth skills really helped me out here… Well lets start with who is the only person who knows where she keeps her money? Her lazy bf. Okay and who’s the only person who doesn’t have an income? Umm… her bf. So who is the only person that needs money? Oh wait… her bf. Okay and who is the only person who can dig through her cupboards ect being undetected? Her bf! So therefore the thief must be her bf!! Well done agent Smith!! Otherwise the site is pretty quiet so help me out!! Got some thing to say?? Go to www.eastrand.womf.com.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Bearded lady

My Advice to anyone: Never ever, ever, ever, try to help a friend or family member out when it comes to business. Coz it’ll turn around and bite u in the ass!! Yup you know that I am right. Oh and never argue with an idiot, coz they will drag you down to their level and then… Beat you by experience. Now I know you all think I am being mellow dramatic but the bf’s sister is possibly the dumbest blonde I have ever met in my life! No wait I am lying… That would be her best friend… Oh or maybe Paris Hilton… [Pause] Okay so she is the 3rd dumbest blonde I know.

Okay so basically the business is down so I decide that I will help them out by giving them some free advertising on the website. Which is by the way doing wonderfully… Facebook: watch this space! Anyway, the blind bat asks me to modify the advert 3 days in a row which I don’t have a problem with except for the uploading process being so monumentally and unnessisarily time consuming. So me being the caring, idiotic person that I am decides to just ask her to check the whole advert again because they are having down time on the site. Completely not my problem and I just run system adverts in its place. So it in fact benefits me for their advert to be inactive but hey. To this the bimbo of course freaks out as she doesn’t have the brain capacity to decifer the difference between advise and an insult. The conversation whent some thing like this.

BIMBO: Please can you change the numbers again. Oh and change the over 8000 applicants to 9000

SOLITAIRE: Okay but just check the advert to make sure your happy with it coz everytime I change it it takes up to 24hrs to fix.

BIMBO: Well can we change the applicant numbers once a month.

SOLITAIRE: [PLEASE NOTE: over 8000 is also over 9000, and over 9000 is also 10,000.] Yes but you have to understand that it is going to give you down time each time you make a change.

BIMBO: Solitaire, whats your problem? ...................Im the client and frankly your emails are cheeky about the fact I pointed out your mistake so your making me feel guilty because I’m correcting you. Just apologize and get on with it. I don’t give a shit if it takes you 2 weeks to fix it - just fix it. You fucked up with the number so have some cautious response about the responsibility in fixing it. If my boss saw your tone she wouldn’t be very impressed. If this is your tone then rather please remove our advert completely. I don’t think your bosses would appreciate your tone either towards your client. I don’t care how long it takes you just rectify it.

SOLITAIRE: [HUH??] I don’t mind changing it I am trying to give you advise. Here it is anyway.

BIMBO: Okay proceed.

[15 minutes pass]
BIMBO: You know what just cancel the advert.

SOLITAIRE: Dear Ms Scott

The advert is pulled off. The account is still there though as I need to wait until our lead programmer returns to close the account completely.

Sorry for the inconvenience.



I mean seriously what the fuck!!! I mean seriously, I’m doing her a favour and she whants to fuck me over!! Bitch! And then she still wants to move in with me and the bf when the lease is over coz she can’t afford to live on her own as her broke ass bf is too lazy to get a job!! Screw it she can stay in a flat above a roach infested bottle store that is secretly running a prostitution ring for all I care! Or perhaps if I can make a suggestion, a cave in Afghanistan might make a humble abode for the “happy” couple. They will have a place to stay, hell I’ll even pay for the rent!

Anyway I am sure we will work it out or kill each other trying…

The wheel of fortune

So this weekend has been a rater eventful one with it being close to payday and all. But perhaps more eventful than I bargained for. Friday… ahhh who cares what happened on Friday lets just skip to the jucy parts shall we.

Well Saturday we decided to go out for a quick drink. Well a quick drink turned into us getting home at 2 in the morning. Anyway Dave was really trashed and saw this huge fugly guy talking to this girl so he drags me over there once the mofo is gone to ask if that guy is bugging her coz he seems like a real prick… Only to learn that that pricky guy is her boyfriend… This was possibly the only reason we whent home so early in the first place. Was probably a good idea as I had packed away 12 Red square enegisers, 2 jagabombs and a few tequila’s and had more energy in me than the duracel bunny.

Anyway on the way home I was proposed to yup in the car… So romantic… I of course thought this was a good idea at the time, hence caffeine helping you do stupid things faster. When the bf went down on one knee to ask as I got out of the car I ended up falling over him. Which I supposed served its purpose as I discovered we have a major ant problem infesting its self in the cracks of our drive way. The bf of course managed to tell the entire world in his drunken state and the next morning left me with a little more than a hangover. I balled my eyes out when I woke up and had to get mac Donalds to feel better. So that all of you know, I do want to be engaged to my wonderful bf, but I am big into firsts and that was not how I expected it.

Well my entire family knows and I am worried about suffering from a case of “you look like a monumental idiot!”. So the bf goes well then we are. Now this is confusing how can we be engaged to my family and not to his it makes no sense what-so-ever! So now neither of us know exactly what we are. Which leaves us on short sentences and one syllable answers.

I have however decided to ignore the subject completely and see what happens. I will pretend that nothing happened for as long as possible even if it kills me. But I think that not really knowing what is going on in our relationship is the worst.

Last night everything seemed comfortable between us at least. We went to his mom’s house and it all felt comfortable between us again even this morning it all seemed fine. I have also come to the conclusion that we have a sock and stocking monster lurking in our yard he occasionally likes to eat me new clothes too… As everytime I was anything half of it is missing but the bf’s sister knows nothing about it until she wears them 2 weeks later oh well.